You have won some awards in your time, maybe basked in applause or rested in recognition. It is good. 

If I spent any amount of time with you, I would find something to honor and celebrate. And I wish I could. It’s no secret that I am a fan and a cheerleader of yours. 

And, some of you wear badges of honor that I wish you would discard, I don’t blame you for wearing them, they are a mark of societal favor, as if the absence of wearing them would banish you from the populace you seek to please.

Two badges, in particular, need to go. They are adorned in the phrases: “I’m tired,” and “I’m busy.”

People say them with pride, usually in answer to the question of “How are you?” and few ever give thought that “tired and busy” as answers are indicative of unhealthiness instead of indicators of well-being. 

We are only as strong as our excuses. Tired and busy are weak excuses.

I’m not being harsh here. Not trying to start out a great conversation on a sour note. Not being Eeyore when I’m a natural Tigger.

Rather, I am reflecting back on years of life and inviting you into a greater experience I desire for you than one I wish I had mastered years ago. It falls into the “If I knew then…” category - which, if you ever can ask an older person that question, is a reservoir of wisdom.

THE GEM

I have had several conversations with CIOs lately in which they spoke of the potential value of having X in their life, but regretfully choose to not pursue it because of their schedule. 

Again, I understand a full schedule. I have one. But I don’t have an overwhelming one. It could be, but I don’t allow it to be. 

The reason is the one gem I have learned when it comes to deciding what I do or what I don’t do. I posted this earlier in the week: 

“It’s what you ignore that hurts you more.”

You don’t know everything - and somehow your life is just fine despite that. You sometimes overlook something - and that is usually recoverable. But to ignore something - good for you or hurtful to you - when it is before you and could be something you give attention to and do not, that I have found to be nearly irreparable.

Let me name a few so that you are thinking with me here:

Some good for you

• Deepening your education
• Fitness of body, mind and emotion
• Nutrition and rest
• Being in a supportive community of peers
• Drawing from a coach and mentors
• Maturing in interpersonal relationships
• Pressing into better communication with executives
• Opportunities to give back or share your experience
• Family and friends

Some bad for you

• Addictive habits
• Lack of reflection and course correction
• Procrastination
• Blame
• Anger
• Moodiness
• Control and alienation
• Resisting advice from others

I have ignored things to my peril; you are destroyed by what you avoid. I have been changed by seeing something differently; you are built up by what you shore up. 

You understand what I’m getting at. You have known people who unraveled; it was just a thread, and it kept getting pulled at. You have known people who have been transformed; they learned to value what matters most.

Words like perspective and priority come to mind, don’t they?

THE ISSUE

There are any number of reasons we ignore something:

• Feels too challenging
• Seems as if there isn’t space for it
• No one to turn to for help in it
• Doesn’t meet the expectations other have of me
• Feels “needy”
• No immediate return or reward

The number one reason we ignore what we should address is that we are not being true to ourselves.

We lead others. We don’t lead ourselves. 

We are acting. We are being defined by others. We seek the approval of those who don’t know us well and want from us what is best for them over those who do know us well and who want the best for us.

Might want to read that last sentence again. It was mind-blowing for me when I recognized it in me. 

There are two ways to counter our tendency to ignore what ultimately is in our best interest:

One, think in terms of a well-ordered heart, not a balanced life. I have friends that are great at juggling - they even do it on a high-wire while on a unicycle. I’m a lousy juggler, literally and metaphorically.

Life will fight you if you try to balance its demands. But you can stay ordered regardless of the seasons you find yourself in. When I tried to balance my schedule between work and family and personal growth and volunteerism - I went crazy. But understanding the rhythms of life, well, that was different.

Second, love “no.” 

For me, an ordered heart means I am strategically invested and not spread out. To live out my identity, capacity and purpose, I need things that are true for me, especially things that I had ignored that are best for me. 

For too long, we ignore a supportive community. We need those relationships. For too long, we ignore the value of a coach. For too long, we let our bodies run on adrenaline. For too long, we are active with our families, but it doesn’t mean we are deepening family ties. 

I can’t speak for you. But I can ask the right question. What is it in your life and work, in yourself and in relationships, in your career and in your community, that you have chosen to ignore?

• What are you ignoring as a professional - your own body, mind and emotional well-being?
• What are you ignoring as a leader - a builder and reconciler of others?
• What are you ignoring as a peer - responsibilities you hold for a larger system and a greater good?
• What are you ignoring as an expert - the voice and model needed for others who engage in your speciality?

I believe the best of you. I want the best for you. Often, the articles I write for you are educational or inspirational.

This one raises a caution. And a banner of love. Lots of love.

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