On Thanksgiving morning, the fire will dance in my wood stove, its warm glow a picture of what I feel as I linger in a lazy morning with my family. The aroma from the oven and burners will slowly dominate the senses. Later, with a mix of feasting and football, I will doze and awake to find out that the grateful life I hold surpasses any short dream that bathed my nap.

I will think of you, and I will think of people who have hung in there with me over the years, and I will think of opportunities ahead and I will experience gratitude with each thought.

I’ve learned a few things about expressing gratitude.

I’ve learned that my employees hold dearly to every affirmation I give them. Once, I saw a stack of notes I had written to a key employee. I pointed them out and she said, “I keep every one.”

I’ve learned that saying “thank you” for what someone did is rarely enough. People appreciate that work has been noticed; they thrive when they have been noticed for their person; they commit more deeply when they realize their value has been seen.

So I rarely say thank you without adding two comments: What the work they did demonstrates about them, and how who they are or what they did is meaningful to me.

Something like: “Thank you for putting in extra hours to prepare our teams for our product release (what they did). I appreciate that you are a person who is committed to quality (their character). Your reliability brings me peace of mind when I know that you are on a project. That means more to me than I can describe (speaks to their meaning and value).

I call it closing the loop. A compliment or thank you means so much more when we put in a little bit more.

Mostly, I’ve learned that expressing gratitude keeps my own focus clear. Stress, distractions, disappointments, deadlines, and duress all cloud my vision, at times causing me to form opinions about someone that simply isn’t true if I think of how thankful I am for them.

What your team needs most between now and the end of the year is for you to be amazingly human; and in being human, choose to see each of them not just for what they do, but for who they are and for what they mean to you.

Then find a way to give the thanks you have always wanted to give.

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